#christmas

Best Christmas Cracker Coffee Jokes.

Looking to stir things up with a few coffee-centric gags this Christmas? You're in luck - we're here to present some of our favourite coffee-themed gags - all of which are deSERVING of a place in even the poshest crackers!

  1. How did the hipster burn her mouth? She drank her coffee before it was cool!

  2. What do gossiping coffees do? Spill the beans!

  3. Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged!

  4. What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before? Déjà brew!

  5. Why shouldn't you drink 1p espresso? It’s a cheap shot!

  6. How are coffee beans like teenagers? They're always getting grounded!

  7. What’s a barista’s favourite exercise at the gym? The French press!

  8. Why did the coffee-shop worker get fired? He kept showing up in a tea-shirt!

  9. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso!

  10. Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee? It made him too jumpy!

Merry Christmas from Cafe2U!

What do you mean 'don't give up your day job'?!

Send us your favourite coffee Christmas cracker jokes via our social channels and we'll share the best ones over the coming weeks!

Festive Food and Drink.

When people in the UK think of Christmas, the first things that come to mind tend to be presents, brightly decorated trees and Santa. But without a doubt, one of the best things about the festive period is the food and drink - from pigs in blankets to Christmas pud and mulled wine.

If you fancy trying your hand in the kitchen this Christmas but can't decide what to make, check out our sumptuous suggestions below. 'Tis the season, after all!

Mince pie brownies.

If you a) like mince pies and b) like brownies then boy have we got the recipe for you! These delicious bakes combine the best of both worlds, stay fresh for days AND are easy to make.

Ingredients.

To make a batch of 16 brownies, you will need:

  • 185g unsalted butter, cubed

  • 185g high-quality dark chocolate, chopped

  • 85g plain flour

  • 40g cocoa powder

  • 3 large eggs

  • 275g golden caster sugar

  • 6 mince pies

  • icing sugar

Start by melting the butter and chocolate in a bowl placed over a pan of simmering water. Stir occasionally until melted, then leave to cool. Meanwhile, heat the oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4, line the base of a shallow 20cm square tin with non-stick baking parchment and sieve the flour and cocoa into a medium bowl.

Next, whisk the eggs and sugar until thick and creamy, which should take 3-8 mins. Add in the cooled chocolate mixture, then gently fold together using a figure of eight motion until the mixture is dark brown - try not to knock out all the air! Sift in the cocoa and flour mixture and continue gently folding until the mixture goes from looking dry and dusty to looking fudgy.

Spoon a little mixture into the prepared tin, then add the mince pies, whole. Pour over the rest of the mixture, ensuring it goes between and over the pies, then pop in the oven for 25 minutes. If the brownie mixture is very wobbly in the middle, it’s not quite done, so bake for another 5 -10 mins. Remove from the oven and leave to cool in the tin, then dust with icing sugar, cut into squares and tuck in!

Gingerbread stars.

These brilliant biscuits can double as Christmas tree ornaments and are perfect for baking with kids.

Ingredients.

To make a batch of gingerbread stars, you will need:

  • 100g salted butter

  • 3 tbsp golden syrup

  • 100g dark muscovado sugar

  • ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda

  • 1 tbsp ground ginger

  • 1 tsp ground cinnamon

  • 225g plain flour

  • 50g icing sugar

Heat the butter, syrup and sugar in a pan until melted, stirring occasionally, then set aside to cool.

Mix together the bicarbonate of soda, ginger, cinnamon and flour in a large bowl, then pour in the butter and syrup mixture and stir to combine. Next, use your hands to bring everything together and form a dough. Place the dough on a sheet of baking parchment paper, shape into a rectangle and lay another sheet of parchment on top. Then roll the dough out to a thickness of ½cm, place on a baking sheet - leaving the parchment in place - and chill in the fridge for 1 hour.

Heat the oven to 190C/170C fan/gas 5 and line a large baking sheet with more baking parchment. Remove the dough from the fridge and cut out star shapes (or whatever shape you prefer) using a cookie cutter, then place them on the lined baking sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes. Leave to cool completely on the baking sheet.

Meanwhile, mix the icing sugar with 1-2 tbsp water and decorate the biscuits with the icing using a piping bag fitted with a thin nozzle. To use as tree ornaments, simply cut out the middle, thread with ribbon and get hanging!

Eggnog latte.

As far as we're concerned, a good proportion of Christmas drinks ought to be rich, sweet and delicious, and nothing fits the bill better than this cheeky delight.

Ingredients.

To make one eggnog latte, you will need:

  • 35ml espresso

  • 100ml milk, steamed and whisked until frothy

  • 150ml eggnog

  • a pinch of nutmeg 

  • a pinch of ground cinnamon

Begin by pouring the espresso into a large mug, then top with most of the frothy milk, then the eggnog. Stir, add the rest of the milk and sprinkle with the nutmeg and cinnamon to serve.

To make frothy milk, either heat the milk gently in a pan while whisking or, if you have one, use a coffee machine.

Here's to a Merry Christmas!

Whatever Christmas has in store for us all this year, there's nothing to stop you making sure yours is a tasty one with a bit of home cooking. And to make sure your coffee requirements are all taken care of, our mobile vans will be out and about throughout the festive period - to find your nearest van and have some top quality coffee delivered to your door, click here.

Christmas Coffee Recipes - For Adults!

Obviously we're a little biased but we think coffee is one of the most versatile drinks around. It's perfect first thing in the morning or during the day, great whether the weather's hot or cold and, most importantly at this time of year, it goes brilliantly with a host of other drinks and flavours. So when it comes to making a cheeky early-Christmas tipple, coffee is a must-have ingredient. 

We love a boozy coffee on special occasions so we've compiled some of our favourite recipes to share with you. Here's how to make them:

Orange mocha.

Bucks fizz has long been a Christmas staple in the UK and the perfect way to get into the party mood. But if you fancy a drink with a kick this Christmas time, but don't particularly like champagne, this orange mocha is for you.

To make four boozy orange mochas, you will need:

  • 4 cups of espresso coffee

  • one tin of sweetened condensed milk (standard 397g size)

  • ¼ cup cocoa powder

  • 2 oranges peels 

  • 1 ¼ cups of chocolate vodka

Start by combining the coffee and condensed milk in a saucepan over a low heat, then slowly whisk in the cocoa powder, stirring continuously. Add the orange peels and leave to steep for five minutes.

Next, simply remove the pan from the heat, stir in the chocolate vodka, take out the orange peels and serve. If you're feeling particularly indulgent, adding some fresh whipped cream won't hurt either!

Gingerbread latte.

Along with pumpkin spice, gingerbread flavour lattes have become one of the UK's most popular Christmas drinks. But what you won't find on offer in your average high street coffee shop are gingerbread lattes with added coffee liqueur!

To make a gingerbread latte, you will need:

  • 30ml strong espresso coffee

  • 40ml gingerbread syrup

  • 180ml full fat milk

  • 20ml coffee liqueur

  • whipped cream

  • ground cinnamon

Begin by heating the milk to scalding, then stir in the gingerbread syrup. Next, pour the coffee liqueur into a mug and pour the coffee over the top, then add the gingerbread milk. Garnish with whipped cream and a sprinkling of cinnamon to serve. Best enjoyed from a sofa when it's cold outside.

Peppermint mocha.

When it comes to Christmas, few things are as evocative as peppermint candy canes, so it's no surprise that peppermint mochas are the perfect accompaniment to an evening spent wrapping presents or watching a Christmas movie.

To make a super simple peppermint mocha, you will need:

  • one cup of espresso coffee

  • 15ml creme de menthe

  • 15ml chocolate liqueur

  • 2 tbsp double cream

  • whipped cream

  • one peppermint candy cane 

First, smash the candy cane by wrapping it in a tea towel and giving it a couple of whacks with a rolling pin. Next, add the creme de menthe and chocolate liqueur to the coffee, stir to combine, then add the double cream. Garnish with the whipped cream and a handful of the crushed candy cane pieces.

Irish coffee.

The classic! Everybody and their Nan loves this combination of coffee and Irish cream liqueur once Christmas rolls around - it's the perfect way to finish a meal. Here's how to take yours to the next level.

To make one Irish coffee, you will need:

  • 2 tbsp double cream

  • 150ml freshly brewed black coffee

  • 50ml Irish whiskey

  • 1 tsp brown sugar

  • freshly grated nutmeg

Start by lightly whipping the cream until it begins to thicken, then set aside. Next, pour the hot coffee into a mug, then add the Irish whiskey and sugar and stir until the sugar dissolves. Gently layer the cream on top, add a sprinkling of nutmeg to serve and prepare to feel smug when everyone compliments you on how good it is!

Christmas at Cafe2U.
Of course, alcohol isn't for everyone. If you'd rather settle in with a top quality coffee minus the booze, our mobile vans will be on the road throughout the festive period and our trained baristas have some of the finest coffees around. To have some delivered to your door today, find out where your nearest van is using our interactive map here.

Boozy Festive Coffee Recipes

Obviously we're a little biased but we think coffee is one of the most versatile drinks around. It's perfect first thing in the morning or during the day, great whether the weather's hot or cold and, most importantly at this time of year, it goes brilliantly with a host of other drinks and flavours. So when it comes to making a cheeky Christmas tipple, coffee is a must-have ingredient. 

We love a boozy coffee on special occasions so we've compiled some of our favourite recipes to share with you. Here's how to make them:

Orange mocha.

Bucks fizz has long been a Christmas staple in the UK and the perfect way to get into the party mood. But if you fancy a drink with a kick on Christmas morning, but don't particularly like champagne, this orange mocha is for you.

To make four boozy orange mochas, you will need:

  • 4 cups of espresso coffee

  • one tin of sweetened condensed milk (standard 397g size)

  • ¼ cup cocoa powder

  • 2 oranges peels 

  • 1 ¼ cups of chocolate vodka

Start by combining the coffee and condensed milk in a saucepan over a low heat, then slowly whisk in the cocoa powder, stirring continuously. Add the orange peels and leave to steep for five minutes.

Next, simply remove the pan from the heat, stir in the chocolate vodka, take out the orange peels and serve. If you're feeling particularly indulgent, adding some fresh whipped cream won't hurt either!

Gingerbread latte.

Along with pumpkin spice, gingerbread flavour lattes have become one of the UK's most popular Christmas drinks. But what you won't find on offer in your average high street coffee shop are gingerbread lattes with added coffee liqueur!

To make a gingerbread latte, you will need:

  • 30ml strong espresso coffee

  • 40ml gingerbread syrup

  • 180ml full fat milk

  • 20ml coffee liqueur

  • whipped cream

  • ground cinnamon

Begin by heating the milk to scalding, then stir in the gingerbread syrup. Next, pour the coffee liqueur into a mug and pour the coffee over the top, then add the gingerbread milk. Garnish with whipped cream and a sprinkling of cinnamon to serve. Best enjoyed from a sofa when it's cold outside.

Peppermint mocha.

When it comes to Christmas, few things are as evocative as peppermint candy canes, so it's no surprise that peppermint mochas are the perfect accompaniment to an evening spent wrapping presents or watching a Christmas movie.

To make a super simple peppermint mocha, you will need:

  • one cup of espresso coffee

  • 15ml creme de menthe

  • 15ml chocolate liqueur

  • 2 tbsp double cream

  • whipped cream

  • one peppermint candy cane 

First, smash the candy cane by wrapping it in a tea towel and giving it a couple of whacks with a rolling pin. Next, add the creme de menthe and chocolate liqueur to the coffee, stir to combine, then add the double cream. Garnish with the whipped cream and a handful of the crushed candy cane pieces.

Irish coffee.

The classic! Everybody and their nan loves this combination of coffee and Irish cream liqueur once Christmas rolls around - it's the perfect way to finish a meal. Here's how to take your's to the next level.

To make one Irish coffee, you will need:

  • 2 tbsp double cream

  • 150ml freshly brewed black coffee

  • 50ml Irish whiskey

  • 1 tsp brown sugar

  • freshly grated nutmeg

Start by lightly whipping the cream until it begins to thicken, then set aside. Next, pour the hot coffee into a mug, then add the Irish whiskey and sugar and stir until the sugar dissolves. Gently layer the cream on top, add a sprinkling of nutmeg to serve and prepare to feel smug when everyone compliments you on how good it is!

Christmas at Cafe2U.

Of course, alcohol isn't for everyone. If you'd rather settle in with a top quality coffee minus the booze, our mobile vans will be on the road throughout the festive period and our trained baristas have some of the finest coffees around. To have some delivered to your door today, find out where your nearest van is using our interactive map here.

Last-Minute Christmas Gifts for Coffee Lovers!

As the festive season approaches and the excitement builds, so too do many people's anxiety levels as they begin to worry about having to do a last-minute dash to find the perfect gift for a loved one.

Well fear not, dear readers, for Cafe2U is here to save the day with a guide to some delightful last-minute Christmas gift ideas that will bring joy to all this holiday season! Read on to find out more!

Coffee Lover's Delight.

For the coffee aficionado in your life, why not treat them to a selection of premium coffee beans, a Cafe2U Keep Cup, or a pre-paid gift card? All are available from your local Cafe2U barista - get in touch with them here!

Cosy Comforts.

A snug blanket or a set of luxuriously coffee-scented candles make wonderful gifts that provide warmth and relaxation during chilly winter days. This Onesnug hoodie blanket will surely be a winner - it's like giving a warm hug as a present!

Sweet Treats.

Indulge their sweet tooth with a delectable hamper filled with gourmet chocolates, biscuits or festive treats. Perfect for enjoying with a cup of top-quality coffee this Christmas!

Gift of Green.

A potted plant or a beautiful bouquet will add a touch of nature to your loved ones' private space, delivering a hint of freshness and engendering a tranquil environment for them to relax in while they enjoy a coffee.

It's also a gift that keeps giving long after the holiday season, and this grow-your-own Bonsai Tree from Amazon means they can enjoy your gift all year round!

Spa at Home. 

Treat your loved ones to a pampering experience with a luxurious spa set that includes bath oils, scented soaps and cosy bathrobes. After all the hustle and bustle of the season, a little self-care could be just what they need!

Remember, the thought and care that goes into the gift truly matters. Whether a small token of appreciation or a grand gesture, the most important thing is to show your love and gratitude to those around you. 

So, grab a cup of Cafe2U's finest brew, let the festive spirit fill your heart and start spreading joy with these thoughtful last-minute Christmas gift ideas. 

Cheers to a merry and bright holiday season! 🎄✨

Must-Have Christmas Gifts for Coffee Enthusiasts This Holiday Season.

Coffee lovers and brewing enthusiasts. With Christmas around the corner, you may be looking for gifts for your loved ones. At Cafe2U, we aim to make your holiday shopping experience as stress-free as possible. To help, we have compiled a list of Christmas gifts for coffee lovers designed to bring joy to the coffee lover in your life.

Here are a few ideas for Christmas gifts for coffee lovers:

A Coffee Sampler Set.

Get their taste buds tingling with a Christmas coffee sampler set featuring a variety of interesting coffee blends that they may not buy for themselves. This Pact Christmas Coffee Selection is great value at only £19.95. They’ll receive four festively themed filter coffees, in a beautifully designed, giftable selection box - the perfect Christmas gift for an adventurous coffee drinker. 

A Personalised Mug.

Add a personal touch to their morning coffee with a personalised mug. Whether you add their name, a fun quote, a family photo, or a quirky design, this thoughtful gift will bring joy to every sip.

A Coffee-Themed Book.

For the coffee lover who likes to kick back with a good book whilst they enjoy their favourite brew, a coffee-themed book could be the perfect coffee gift idea this Christmas. Whether it’s a captivating coffee table book filled with stunning images or an insightful guide to the world of coffee - like The Curious Barista’s Guide to Coffee - this Christmas gift will enhance their appreciation of our beloved bean.

A Coffee-Making Kit.

Need a personal barista? A coffee-making kit could be the ticket to having your very own barista at home. From a high-quality French press to a sleek pour-over set, this Christmas gift will elevate their coffee brewing experience and allow them to create cafe-worthy coffee at home.

Coffee and Treats Hamper.

This Luxury Coffee Lover’s Hamper is filled with rich, coffee blends and coffee-inspired accompaniments and snacks. A coffee hamper is a unique coffee gift that your coffee-loving kin can savour throughout the festive season. 

So, let’s raise a cup of joe this Christmas and bring a smile to a coffee lover’s face. And if you are still searching for the perfect Christmas gift for a coffee lover, you can pick up pre-paid Cafe2U cards from your local Cafe2U coffee van!

Connect with us on our social channels and let us know what unique coffee gifts you’ll be giving, or hoping to receive this Christmas!